I don’t know about you, but after this rollercoaster of a year with its ups and downs, fight for social justice, election anxiety and of course the human loss and other impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic; I found myself mentally and emotionally drained at the start of this month. I was also sick, I took a COVID test which was negative, but it turns out I had a severe sinus infection. And, though I didn’t want to, I was forced to really (like stay in the bed and watch Netflix, take medicine and sleep as much as needed) rest and recuperate. I needed it more than I knew. I had so many plans for my real estate business, freelance writing tasks and blogs for the month, but I just couldn’t delve into them like I wanted to.

I also had trouble getting into the Christmas spirit this year. The spirit of joy, giving and gratitude just wasn’t automatically rising up in my spirit like year’s past. The normal family tradition of the us gathering for dinner and helping the kids of the family (there are a lot of them, ages 1-10) make and bake cookies and gingerbread houses on Christmas Eve isn’t an option. Things are just different and I found myself angry and discouraged about the changes. I knew I had to do something about that because there is so much to be grateful for and so many opportunities to create joy and connectedness in new ways.

But first, I had to acknowledge and honor the grief that welled up in my spirit. Though I am still not at my normal level of joy from the holiday season, I’m at about 75% and I am grateful for that. So, if you are experiencing something similar, keep reading for some advice on how to make the best of a COVID Christmas.

Honor your Grief, but take steps Away from it into Joy

I think it’s important to acknowledge and work through feelings of grief that come up for us. One thing I’ve had to do this year due to the pandemic (especially during quarantine) is to sit with my feelings and work through them. I had no distractions or coping mechanisms (namely, the unhealthy ones) to delay this process. I had to cry, be angry and talk out these feelings of uncertainty and fear that came up. I also had to be mindful not to slip into toxic positivity. Yes, in my soul I know things will be okay and turn around, but sometimes they don’t and it hurts and I have to talk about and work through that pain.

Do the Things You Love

While I was sick during the first two weeks of December, I decided to stay inside of course to rest, but also because I was still coughing and sneezing frequently because of my sinus issues (By the way: I’ve ordered a Neti pot and will be going to see an allergist as soon as possible) and didn’t want to make other people uncomfortable, hell, I didn’t want to make myself uncomfortable. But I am an ambivert (both introvert and extrovert), so I love my solitude but need an equal amount of social time to feed both parts of my personality.

Once I was feeling good enough to go out some, I asked my significant other, who is a photographer, to take me out to shoot some pictures. He had a lot going on, but knows I love taking pictures, so he made the time to help me choose a location, clothes and have a wonderful time taking pics by a huge Christmas tree, fire pit and lights in our area. It lifted my spirit and we got some great shots, like the one on the cover of this blog and next to this text.

Connect with Family and Friends

When I say I was exhausted, I was drained and didn’t even have the strength to connect like I normally do. I am still working through this, but push myself to call, text or video call with family and friends to give and receive love and encouragement. I hosted the Zoom call for my family on Thanksgiving, and it was just the connection we all needed to feel that familiar holiday feeling. We were in different households, but the love, lateness to the video call (Lol, like lateness to dinner in-person), simultaneous conversations, kids running around and good food was all there for us to see. We laughed and joked, talked and shared thoughts about trending topics. It was what we needed and I am so grateful for it.

So, if you find yourself not quite into the holiday spirit like you normally are, I encourage you to talk to someone about your feelings and work through them, remind yourself of what you do have and what you can do, and fervently create joy and practice gratitude.

Happy holidays tribe,

Dareise