A Written Reflection: Dear 17-Year-Old Me, I’m Glad You Took that Advice

Year seventeen was an interesting one for me, as I’m sure it is for all teenagers. There was a lot I knew about myself and had come to believe about myself. I knew I was a writer. My aunt, who’d helped raise me (and read my diaries and poetry without my permission, Lol), told me I was a few years prior, and by that point I believed it. I loved to write and could trace that love as far back as the second grade. But, there were a lot of things I didn’t know and didn’t take seriously; school was one of them.

I failed the eleventh grade as a result. Yes, you read that right, I did not have enough credits to be a senior and my school was not going to just push me along as I’d hoped they would. I found this out about a month before my senior year of high school was set to begin. The school sent the schedule in the mail and right there in black and white, it listed my grade as “11.” I was devastated and started that first day embarrassed and discouraged. I couldn’t blame anyone but myself. I’d made the choice to cut my Spanish class everyday and have lunch with my friends (I didn’t like the teacher, although she tried to help me), I didn’t do homework, and didn’t study math (which I should have because I was not good at it).

It all caught up to me, but it also let me know that my choices can have severe consequences, so I started to accept that I wouldn’t be going to the prom, senior trip, or graduating with my friends. During my sophomore and junior years, I’d built a rapport with a young, pretty, Black female teacher. I was never in her class, but I looked up to her and would talk to her about whatever was going on with me. I remember hanging my head low and telling her I had been retained. Instead of scolding me, she encouraged me to talk to my guidance counselor to see what I could do to get my credits and she gave me some of the best advice I’ve ever received.

She said “You can either pay now and play later; or play now and pay later.” It was simple, but so true and it resonated with me. So much so, I got serious about school and graduating on time. I had decided to play during my junior year and now I was paying the price, but I was determined to turn that around.

17-Year-Old Dareise

And, I did. I had an awesome guidance counselor who helped me register for night school and encouraged me throughout the entire school year as I went to day school five days a week, and attended night school four days a week while working part-time at Taco Bell on the weekends. I graduated on time, went to prom and on the senior trip with my friends. It wasn’t easy, but I learned a valuable lesson I still use today when I want to “play” instead of put the work in first: every decision we make has a consequence, so choose to put in the work first so that you can enjoy the fruits of your labor later.

17-Year-Old Dareise, I am glad you took that advice and that you still use it. You did good girl, and you will continue to do amazing things.