Self-Care: Four Practices to Deepen Self-Love

Sundays have become my day to blog about self-care and so far, I’ve talked about creating a coping kit with items you can use to soothe yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed. I covered how to use essential oils and gratitude journaling for self-care; and this week, I’ll share four practices to deepen your self-love: the ultimate form of self-care.

What is Self-Care?

According to Psych Central “Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional and physical health. Although it’s a simple concept in theory, it’s something we very often overlook. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. It’s also key to a good relationship with oneself and others.”

I love that last sentence because caring for yourself is an essential part of cultivating self-love. I’m talking about the self-care that takes your mind and spirit to its healthiest state. Therapy, affirmations, self-reflection, gratitude journaling, consuming healthy foods, media and music are all ways to build self-love. Of course, there are many more, but I have tried all of the aforementioned methods which led to the following four practices I also employ to deepen the love I have for myself.

Self-Compassion

I am a recovering perfectionist. For many years, I had to do everything right. It had to be the right way, the right time and the right standard. Although it helped me achieve a lot of wonderful things in my career and personal life, it caused me a lot of anxiety and self-criticism that chipped away at my self-love. That’s where self-compassion comes into play. Deciding to extend compassion to myself instead of criticism has changed the game and deepened my self-love.

Date Yourself

I have always preferred and maintained long-term relationships as an adult woman. Some of those relationships were good, some were not, but they usually lasted a few years, one even lasted almost seven. So, when I found myself single in my early thirties, I realized I hadn’t dated in my 30s and had a lot to learn. I also discovered that some of these relationships I was in fed a part of me that needed validation. So, I set out on a quest to validate myself which included dating myself. I’ve never had an issue with going out alone, so being with myself and going to places I’d normally go with a date didn’t feel awkward to me. In fact, I enjoyed spending time with me and I met some dates while I was out, lol. It deepened my self-love because I realized I didn’t need to be in a relationship or even be dating anybody to be awesome or successful at life.

Interrupting Comparisons

I started loving myself more when I stopped comparing my journey, my body, my talents, and my achievements to others’. I realized comparisons can happen unconsciously and they must be interrupted. Letting those thoughts grow legs to walk all over your self-esteem is a no-no. And besides, if you live long enough, you understand that everybody has valleys in life and that our journeys are unique because we are. What is yours will be yours, in the time it’s supposed to be, so interrupt those comparisons and put that energy into yourself.

Creating and Enforcing Boundaries

My lil’ young, naïve, self learned the hard way to create and enforce boundaries. But, coincidentally, once I started loving myself more, keeping boundaries became easier. When you love yourself enough to protect your peace, your worth and your spirit, you don’t allow people to do certain things to you and you don’t care how it makes them feel (even if you do, you don’t lose sleep over it) or if they don’t approve.