On the Couch: How Therapy Enhanced My Mental Wellness

Lobby of the Sonesta Hotel in Bogotá, Colombia

I was in my late twenties when I decided to try therapy. I’d always been excellent with self-reflection, ambitious and had a positive mindset, but for about a month or so after a few transitions in my life (job, relationship, move); I couldn’t tap into my spark like I’d done many times before, and I wanted a professional, unbiased view on why.

Was I depressed? Was I content? Was I making the right decisions personally and professionally? These were the questions I would ask during that first session. I wanted to know how to get from where I was, to where I envisioned myself, and I knew I couldn’t do it alone.

I grew up in the church and have a great relationship with God. I was consistently praying, exercising, practicing yoga, and eating whatever I wanted (I didn’t gain weight back then, I’d make up for that in my 30s, Lol). I talked to friends and family, which helped, but didn’t give me the tools I needed to get past what I was feeling for more than a few weeks. Finally, during my yearly check-up with my doctor of five years, I told her how I was feeling and that I wanted to talk to a therapist.

She gave me a list of therapists in my area, and when I got home, I did some research online. Within a few days, I’d called and scheduled my first appointment. I was scared, but my desire to get back to myself mentally and emotionally, outweighed that fear. It was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. I was fortunate to find a therapist that worked for me on my first try, but it can be a trial-and-error process, so keep that in mind and don’t give up if you have to try out several therapists before you find one that works for you.

Therapy enhanced my mental wellness by giving me a safe space to bare my soul without judgement, talk through my issues and receive feedback and tools that I still continue to use to cope and better relate to myself and others. It gave me the motivation to be brave, face my fears, my insecurities and self-limiting thoughts and beliefs. My therapist challenged me to change my thinking and behaviors to get out of my own way and thrive in every aspect of my life. I am still a work in progress.

I also started the journey to heal from the trauma I experienced as a child. I was raised by my grandparents because my mother has a mental illness and my father was not in my life. My grandfather suddenly died of a heart attack when I was nine and a few years later, my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. By the time I was fourteen, the woman who loved and raised me as her own, couldn’t remember my name. My therapist called it what it was: trauma. Just having someone name your pain, grief or issue can start the process for healing. Therapy gave me that.

As I climbed the professional ladder in education, the stress I had to deal with increased as well. It morphed into anxiety, something that wasn’t on my radar. Once again, talks with my therapist brought the root of the anxiety and stress to the surface, and she gave me tools to not only manage it, but to see it as an ally and not an enemy. Yes, you read that right. My therapist told me anxiety was my friend and that instead of resisting it, I should lean into to. It had something to tell me and I wasn’t listening. Mental and emotional responses to trauma and stress tell us we need to deal with it. Our bodies and minds are amazing machines, equipped with the tools to let us know when we need to give attention to a physical, mental or emotional wound. So, I leaned in and listened.

Although it was a little hard for me to share some of my story about my journey with therapy with the world, my family and friends hear about it all the time. There are many different healthy ways to maintain mental wellness: therapy, medication, meditation and more. My intention for writing this blog was to give a glimpse into how therapy benefitted me, to encourage anyone who wants to try it, to do so. It has given me another healthy way to maintain mental wellness and live my best life, healed and happy.