Though I’ve stopped setting goals for the new year in the traditional sense, and instead opt to set them whenever I feel the need to do so, I still hone in on them when the new year is upon us.
It’s a fresh start, and I love the energy around fresh starts.
There is nothing better than knowing and believing you don’t have to carry your mistakes with you as judgmental clouds hovering over your head, but as beacons of light guiding you toward your goals.
Personal development involves failure and mistakes. Mistakes are part of the lessons. And the lessons help get us where we want to be, but more importantly, to who we want to be.
For years, I followed the formula of setting goals, creating a plan to reach them and reaching them (or not).
It worked for many of my goals, like earning my bachelor's and master’s degrees, or obtaining my real estate license.
It hasn’t fully worked for my deep dive into entrepreneurship over the past two and a half years. I say fully because I have accomplished some of my goals as a realtor and writer since 2019, but my goal for this year is to grow these businesses in a significant way.
So, when I started thinking about how to do that in December of 2021, I followed the aforementioned formula but felt I needed more.
I wasn’t sure about what that was until I listened to Courtney Sanders’ podcast during the first week of January.
The gems dropped in the episode, “How to Achieve All Your Goals this Year” of The Courtney Sanders Show were exactly what I needed to adjust my goal setting strategy and get about the business of embodying my goals.
In this episode, she talks about having some of the same setbacks many of us experience on our journeys to achieving our goals.
Our goals are S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-based), we’ve written them down, and we are working toward them. But, for some reason we don’t reach them.
Courtney says the secret sauce is simple: be the goal.
During the episode, she talked about a fitness goal she set years ago to work out more and eat healthy.
“It doesn’t matter how aggressive you get, how mad you get, how many cute workout clothes you buy. How many times you scribble it on your mirror…’cause I had done all that.” She explained. “I realized it didn’t matter if I did all those things. I could not achieve the goal if I was not the person.”
I am grateful for this realization too, and glad to share it with you. If you’re having difficulty reaching some of your goals, keep reading for three steps to help you go beyond doing what it takes to achieve your goals and incorporate being what it takes to embody your goals.
Dream It
Write your goals down. Taking the time to get clear about what you want is important and putting them on paper gives you a visual declaration of it.
I mentioned the S.M.A.R.T. goals framework and believe it can be helpful in streamlining the process of the second step, which is taking action.
Many times we have a lot of great ideas. The S.M.A.R.T. goals method gives you a way to stay focused on the most important goals and steps to achieve them.
Do It
You know what you want, and you’ve made a plan to get there. Now, you need to be consistent with doing what it takes to achieve your goals.
There are many days that you will not feel like taking action toward your goals, but you must build a habit that will help you push through your feelings.
Your mindset is key when it comes to this step, and it sets you up for the final step which is being the goal.
Be It
I know what it takes to be a top-performing real estate agent. I work with and follow many agents who’ve reached this goal.
As a writer and educator, my instinct with everything I do is to do extensive research and planning, but I hadn’t taken a deep dive into the habits and mindsets of top-performing agents until this year.
What habits do they incorporate daily? Weekly? Monthly? To be on top. What do they think about failure, setbacks, and challenges?
What do they think about themselves when they encounter difficulties?
How can I embody these characteristics into my work as a realtor?
Writer Will Durant, who interpreted a quote by Aristotle said it best when he said, “We are what we repeatedly do, therefore excellence is not an act, but a habit.”
So, if you are struggling with your goals, commit to changing your habits and thoughts to fit the person you want to be.
And soon, you will be her.
I recently finished reading Will Smith’s memoir, Will and he shared this poignant realization that changed how he looked at life, “I had had a bias toward action——thrusting, pushing, striving, struggling, doing——and I began to realize that their opposites were equally as powerful—inaction, receptiveness, acceptance, non-resistance, being.”
Don’t forget to be. Whether it’s changing your mindset and habits to embody goals, or committing to savoring and enjoying all of who you are. Enjoy being.